Change (Yes we can!)

Once you reach the late 20s, it's hard to change the very core of your nature, especially (probably only) the bad shades of it. If you are socially awkward, you will be such a person for a long time to come. Like me, if you are under-confident, you will probably suffer from this syndrome for a significant part of your adult life. Well, that's what I believed, until now. I think, we can change for better whenever we want. The key is to move on, forgive your self and forget the past. I started thinking on these lines when I read about (arguably) the greatest tennis players of all times, Roger Federer. Years ago, when he was a newbie to this sport, he let his temper get the best of him. However, today his biggest weapon against other players is his "mind". His mental strength far exceeds any of his opponents. Maybe, because a two-set down Federer forgets that he's lost those two, but remembers that he still has three to win and change the course of the game completely. I think that makes all the difference; to have a clean slate; to prevent our past from fogging away the present and future; to let it go and start afresh with a positive attitude. At 30, we still have 40 more years to get it right and brooding over the past ain't gonna get you anywhere, honey! Of course this change requires active efforts from our side. For instance, my way of dealing with my dwindling confidence is to say "Yes" to every little thing I fear. So, if I feel I wouldn't be able to pass a goddamn class, I will dive in and sign up for it. Sounds easy, isn't it? Well, it has helped me so far! But, since I have been using this strategy for such a long time, I wish the next time I won't fear or doubt myself at all. The next time, all I would remember is that I have succeeded these past few times, so I will be fine. I know it's hard, but overcoming the slightest weakness, might help us take the biggest step of our lives one day and living under its fear, might leave us stagnant. So, apparently, the choice is quite simple. Just need to grab it till we can :)

Women...

In these modern times, when equality transcends race, religion, color and gender, sometimes you want to be treated unequally or dare I say in a more special way. Of course, I don't mean this in a bad way, but in a silly good way. Like, when I get into a tiff with my husband, it gets blown out of proportion by our very logical point by point argument. This goes on endlessly, as neither of us is ready to simply "accept and apologize". My thinking cloud, however, is constantly saying "Why can't he just give in and lose because am I not his beloved WOMAN????". But, I don't say this out loud as it would hurt my liberal image, wherein, I am EQUAL to him. Unlike a typical TV serial wife, I don't even demand gifts from my husband or complain (investigate) about his whereabouts. But, once in a while I do wish for that silly gift or gesture that says how much he loves me. Of course, if I expect that, I should also reciprocate and do something for him every now and then. But, my illogical emotional (womanly) side sometimes wants gifts with no returns. I know that's horrible, but these are just my fleeting thoughts that I don't listen to. To be fair, I am periodically showered with great gifts from my super-cute husband, who doesn't get into too many arguments with me. Still....there are always the stupid thinking clouds :)